As you can tell from my site, I like Professional Wrestling (because amateur’s don’t know how to take a steel chair to the back…that’s reserved for the “professionals”). In some way, I’ve probably always wanted to be a professional wrestler (except for the part about being in shape and having to get fake beat up every night, which likely hurts very much in a very real way). And doesn’t every little boy also grow up dreaming about their wedding day and becoming a beautiful blushing groom one day? No, that’s not a thing, actually. Anyway, a boy can dream of such things…
The interviewer is trying to get a word with The Groom.
Interviewer: Excuse me, Mr. Groom can I get a word with you?
The Groom: (grunts)
Interviewer: Groom, recently you’ve had some issues with AWL superstar, the Zodiac Bully. He just recently called you out. What do you have to say to this goliath?
The Groom: Zodiac, love is patient, love is kind…but I’m not. See, love, yeah it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not easily angered…But I am. Love, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil…but I do. See, in the Mexican tradition it is a grave dishonor to remove a luchador’s mask. But in my world, the same could be said about trying to remove a man’s cummerbund. The only one who touches my cummerbund is me. And the next time I do I’ll be whipping you across the back with it so hard, you’ll be hearing bells…wedding bells. See much like the corsage, I plan on pinning YOU Zodiac…and making you bleed.
The Best Man: That’s right, and when my client clutches him in The Wedlock…there’s no escaping.
The Groom: ‘Til death do him part
Interviewer: Pretty strong words from you two. Now there’s been a lot of talk about your, let’s say “underhanded” tactics recently. What do you say to those accusations?
The Best Man: Since when is it illegal to slip a ball and chain in the ring?
The Groom: Besides I just hit him in the nuptials.
“Oh no ladies and gentlemen, is that the Zodiac Bully?”
The Zodiac Bully appears in the ring with a microphone.
Zodiac Bully: I hear you yapping backstage. The time for talk is over. Why don’t you come down to the ring and put your money where your mouth is?
Interviewer: Groom, what is your response to this challenge from the Zodiac Bully?
Best Man: Here’s our “proposal”. My man, The Groom, vs. you Bully. Right here, right now in a Wedding Ring on a pole match.
Zodiac Bully: You’re on, bring it on tuxedo breath.
“Here’s my vow!”
The Groom: Be careful what you wish for. See, when I “walk down the aisle” for this match made in hell, who will I see? Not my beautiful bride, but my gruesome opponent. And here’s my VOW to you Zodiac. When I’m done with you, there’s gonna be something old, your career…something new…ME, the new AWL champ…something borrowed, ‘cuz you’re living on borrowed time pal…and of course something black and blue, your face…and if you got a problem with that please speak now…or Forever Rest In Pieces!
Best Man: And there’s no invite for the After Party!
Canon in D blasts through the arena…and The Best Man and The Groom walk down the aisle.